I attended two weddings in the family this past weekend. Two cousins, both on my mom’s side, tied the knot.
Saturday was a beautiful outdoor wedding at a farm in the countryside. It was about a four hour drive away, which made it into a bit of an interesting day trip, but mostly uneventful.
Sunday was a much easier affair to make it to. A scant fourteen minute drive from our house, a “come as you are” ceremony. Much easier to pull off with a seven month and three year old in tow.
And yet some members of the family chose not to attend.
Some members of the family who just drove eight hours round trip to attend another cousin’s wedding didn’t attend.
It was a gay (or, more specifically, lesbian) wedding.
And it ranks up there in one of the most charming weddings I’ve ever attended. The schedule on the program was titled “The Gay Agenda,” and they made jokes about “If this isn’t your first gay wedding, please keep the Bernie chatter to a minimum,” “Now that you’re all attending a gay wedding, congratulations, you’re all gay too,” and even “By the authority vested in me by Obergefell v. Hodges…”
My mind is just utterly blown at trying to comprehend the mindset that feels it’s more important to not attend a non-religious marriage ceremony. If you’re Catholic, would you also refuse to attend the wedding of a cousin who was previously divorced and is now getting remarried? Or do you only attend religious wedding ceremonies presided over by your own church?
I mean — what’s the thinking behind this? “If only I don’t attend their wedding, they’ll recognize the error of their ways, and abandon their sinful plan to marry the person that they want to spend the rest of their lives with?”
(btw, I’m pretty sure the bible doesn’t say anything about gay marriage, all the verses deal with the consummation, and I’m pretty dang sure you’re not invited to that part)
In the end, if I’m going to screw up in this life, I want it to be for loving and accepting people, not making them feel unwelcome or judged. That’s my Pascal’s Wager. And that’s what I believe the message of the gospel is. The message of the Christ who dined with prostitutes.
Don’t approve of gay marriage? That’s cool, don’t get gay married. 👍
But to not attend feels spiteful and unkind and wrong.
And I’m left feeling disappointed.